I was with a group of new lawyers. We were being trained, so our first task was to convince everyone in the lobby of each floor to buy our donuts. They were good donuts, but still it would be a challenge, because lawyers don’t really eat donuts.

The first floor was the easiest, because these were the least serious lawyers, but as we went up the building, our task became harder. The building was bright and colorful, with lots of lights and open spaces. It was designed more like an indoor mall than an office building. Sometimes we used the elevators and sometimes we used the stairwell to travel between the floors. But, I never felt tired.

1:24 pm  •  9 September 2012

5:57 pm  •  8 September 2012

I was in a nice house, but next to the kitchen, instead of a living room, there was a bedroom. It was gray: gray walls, gray bed spread, gray wood furniture. But, there were different textures. The bedspread was silky and trimmed with beads that dangled like the kind you’d see on the bottom of a fashionable lamp shade.

I was sitting on the floor there, watching someone in the kitchen fiddle with the stereo. He was trying to put together some sort of mix, but I’m not sure why. He was trying to hurry because we had some sort of appointment.

5:14 pm  •  3 September 2012

I often have a dream where the person I’m with is trying to fit bodies in spaces that are too small. These people aren’t dead, but they aren’t alive either. I feel nervous in the dream, and then I wake up disturbed, usually around four AM.

5:04 pm  •  3 September 2012

I can’t remember what happened, but I know there was a hotel. I had a period of a few years during which I only dreamed about hotels. I wonder if that time is back. 

4:17 pm  •  10 August 2012

I was in the car with a lot of people. We were going to an indoor public pool on the edge of town. We had to drive up a winding ramp to get into the parking garage.

Inside, there was one big pool with lanes, but I didn’t want to do laps. Instead, I signed up for a private pool. 

But, when I went into the room with the private pool and tried to swim, I couldn’t, because it was too small. Also, the ceiling was too low. It was frustrating, because I needed to exercise.

I went outside to look for the people I came with, but they weren’t there. I walked around the parking lot, and down the windy driveway. There were fast food restaurants and buildings under construction.

I didn’t want to leave without exercising, so I went back inside and signed up for a swimming class. They didn’t have adult goggles, so I bought a pair made for kids that didn’t fit. The teacher made us tread water, and I woke up with very sore legs. 

8:57 pm  •  6 July 2012

Engrossed in cell phone conversation with a friend who is several states away and who is starting to sound kind of funny…like he’s on a roller coaster or being dropped from something. 

Wait. I’m on a roller coaster too and it is really picking up speed. I turn my body sideways in the car, further twisting the seat belt tight and brace my feet against the side where someone else would be sitting if anyone else were on the ride with me. It’s really a nice but brisk night. From up here I can feel how the rest of the world down there is enjoying their cotton candy and all this noise. I wedge the phone in the crook of my neck like a violin and then shove the crown of my head against the other side of the car. With the phone tweezered between my tucked chin and my crushed sternum I scream into the phone, “What’s going on?” 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” he says. This coaster is getting OUT OF CONTROL. I’ve never been on a ride like this. I don’t know what’s happening anymore in terms of up and down or side to side. I’m already braced so hard with my feet and my arms and my shoulders, it hurts, pressing outwards like this, like I’m holding myself up in a narrow canyon. “I have to go. I’m on a rolllller coooaster. I’ll call you back!” I wrap and twist my left arm around and through the exterior railing and with my right hand I carefully grip the phone and yank it from where its wedged and am now having some trouble jamming it into my front jeans pocket.

8:18 pm  •  6 July 2012

Someone had set up this obstacle for us—something we had to climb through. It was in a lot of trees, and I’m not sure why, but we were stuck in it. There were tunnels and ropes to pull ourselves up with. 

There were also a lot of cats. Mostly white, but some black and white cats. We were trying to get out—we were moving fast—but it was hard. At the end he had a message scratched out for us on wood, but I don’t remember what it said. I scratched one back, but then someone came to erase it. She said it should be neater. 

Then, we were driving on an overpass that was only halfway done. It was very high up and unstable. Other people were following us, and I was afraid we wouldn’t turn around in time. 

8:17 pm  •  6 July 2012

(via handsomedogs)

8:16 pm  •  6 July 2012  •  60,423 notes

Whenever I dream about a mall, it is very big. There is more distance between each floor, so the ceiling is impossibly high. Steep staircases, huge store fronts. Lots of smooth shiny flooring and lights bouncing off glass. 

In this mall was my paralyzed DMV agent. She was helping me with something, but I was also trying to tell her how to strengthen the connection between her brain and her body parts in order to get them to move. 

But, in the dream, she was walking. 

8:20 am  •  30 June 2012